Apprehension... ...

My composure gave way last Fri at work when his watapp read, “Confirmed. I’d be going for the course”. 

Yes, I’m happy and excited for him for this is an opportunity not to be missed. We have discussed it many moons back when I gave my blessings. As moons came and went, with keen competition and bilateral relationship going south for a while, we had thought it was a no go. But well 人算不如天算。

A week has passed since news broke but I’m still feeling just as unsettled. We have never been apart for more than half a year and now he’d be away for close to one and a half. The logical part of me reads… …

1. He has sacrificed time and again for me to pursue my dream and fantasy, now it’s only right I support him. 
2. It’s only one and a half years, come on. 
3. It’s an advancement not to be missed. 
4. Give the kids a chance to nurture their independence and me too. 
5. I have seen through more trying days when the kids were younger, surely the survivor in me will continue to triumph this time round.

Logic aside, the emotional part of me knows it’d not be easy. I’ve grown to be so reliant on him, my best buddy, my sports trainer, my listening ear, my career coach, my world news update, my car mechanic, my doctor, my shelter from the storms … …(the list goes on) but most importantly my stronger intellectual and emotional half.

I know I have to stay strong for the kids and the folks. But for now, I know I’d be less than half my usual self when Sep comes knocking.