Superwoman? I am not!

Over an official dinner function last week, one of MY ONE's colleagues commented that I am a superwoman. Honestly don't know where that came from for I have never considered myself as one and have never aimed to be one. Still, I thank him for that compliment.

As a matter of fact, I am struggling all the time trying to balance all of my responsibilities, firstly as a wife, before a mother, a daughter and of course my professional duties as a lecturer and co-worker. Although my current half-time work arrangement has provided some respite and balance but just counting the number of roles makes me really exhausted and tired at times.

Honestly, only God knows of the many moments that I'd beat myself up for not fulfilling my roles well and the nights I'd spent fretting and at times crying to bed especially when it concerned the kids and I felt all so helpless as their mother.

Of course some would suggest, like MY ONE, that I quit my job and focus on my primary roles. "Why be so hard on yourself?", they would say. However, one can only love when there's self-worth. And for me, that comes my knowing that I still have professional value and financial independence. I have had enough of those childhood days when the next meal was no where in sight, much less other necessities in life.

I do see the spillover positive effects of my job on my kiddos, especially after I have to deal with students from both end of the spectrum. For the achievers, I'd be reflecting on their learning styles and how those can be inculcated in my kiddos. For the difficult ones, I'd be thinking how can I avoid my kiddos from going down that path. Very often, these are my conversational topics with them.

Superwoman I am not, though after witnessing how MY ONE had to handle work conflicts today, I'm beginning to think of him as a superman. Finally, the inequity between our pay scales is starting to make some sense. Wished I had been more understanding and less harsh on him this morning as he was putting out fire. Just being his "small woman", as opposed to "superwoman", is more than enough for me.